22 July 2008
94. But We're Screaming Inside
Black Sheep H3 - 20 July 08
We pulled up to Welcome All Park and were greeted to 90-degree heat and a near-dead silence from every living thing in the area. The electricity in the air was non existent. Was this a hash? Did we accidentally arrive at the wrong outdoor event? No, there were Sheepers milling about in the shade, pretending to stretch. But it was so quiet. Even the air was overly still.
Chicken came over and handed me two gorgeous Bodum double-hulled rocks glasses. Just because I'm a fan of exceptional design. I belted out a quality "YAY!" that had me almost feeling guilty; sort of like if I had used a bullhorn in a library.
Wee Little Bit and Gentrifuckation were off to the side, whispering about the evilness they were going to throw our way. Then more whispering as the hares gave the bimbos their needed information. Was anyone actually talking at normal level?
The amount of time it took to get everyone circled up can only be described as forever. Pu$$y Pilot blessed the hares, who dashed northward into the heat. The pack shuffled off five minutes later. Note I said "shuffled." Slack Sheep in full effect.
Our first check was at the edge of a ball field, and the point of least resistance through shiggy led to a YBF. I went east and instantly became the DFL when trail was found through some moderate resistance to the west. I was dehydrated before trail even started, and trying to catch up with the slowish hounds was a chore. Ice cold water in the camelback helped a little. I was finally in the middle of the pack when we looked to the left and realized the hares circle-jerked us through the forest. We were almost right back at the start.
Most hashers who know the area will say that trails usually go north out of Welcome All Park, but after our circle jerk we he*ded due south, squeezing between an office complex fence and some briary hamsterland. It wasn’t until we hit the surprisingly cool water of a creek that I started snapping out of my physical coma.
Out of the creek we hit an access road that was almost totally overgrown, and followed blobs of flour through a graveyard and over South Fulton Parkway. This is where the hares presented us with their best idea of the day: Jugs of cold water, iced down in a trash bag. Yes, iced down. Maybe Hired Snatch should have consumed a little extra. More on that later.
We hit a check at some railroad tracks and asked the two nearby office park attendants which way the r*nner ahead of us went. Each of them pointed in a different direction. This was apparently where the hares split up. Wee Little Bit went down the tracks to do the last part of trail, while Gentri kept marking trail to the south.
Second best idea of the day: Taking us through a monstrous concrete graveyard. No joke… literal mountains of concrete pieces. Entire traffic dividers. Huge, thick slabs. And somehow we ended up on top of one of the mountains. The walkers took the winding truck path down, the rest of us tried our luck at following flour down the sheer face. A piece slipped out from under my foot and hurtled right toward PP. My brain tracked the piece in slow motion as I braced for the worst. Luckily, the tumbling slowed and the chunk tapped him on the back. That’s when I decided to stop until no one was directly underneath me. Lesson learned.
Third best idea of the day: The hares found old growth forest, between the creek and Roosevelt Highway. It was a gorgeous area with no undergrowth and plenty of room to stretch out. And there was even more of it on the other side of a wide power cut.
East on Roosevelt and North on Welcome All Road put us at a smaller branch of the bigger power cut. And underneath the closest tower was a massive BN.
The On-In was at a shady access road between the power cut and Welcome All Road, just south of South Fulton Parkway. Everyone was too busy checking for ticks to greet the incoming hounds with shouts of "On In." Yup, more quiet. Gentri had just pulled the third tick off his legs when he got a call from Read My Boobs. Hired was down the street and around the corner, overheated and quite miserable. Wee picked them up and Hired cooled down by consuming cold BEvERages. Bunny Tuna was DFL and in similar shape. She had been stung at least six times by yellowjackets and came in with the chills, then proceeded to amaze everyone by popping two Benadryl and downing a beer without appearing affected at all.
The beer had perked up most of the Sheep by the time circle started. Trail Trial was positive and back to a normal decibel level. Of note was Camel Toe, who was applauded for completing 23 of the 24 Hash Marathon hashes so far, and the clear leader with only 3 more hashes to go. Also, your GM and RA made a certain assless-shorts-wearing hound sit on the block for Swing Low. Isn't that sacrilegious? Well, there was an extra down-down involved, so my vote is sacrilLICIOUS.
A tip of the woolen sheep hat to the motivated hares for piecing together a quality Sunday trail. And thanks to all who came out to play in the heat.
May the Hash Get a Piece
We pulled up to Welcome All Park and were greeted to 90-degree heat and a near-dead silence from every living thing in the area. The electricity in the air was non existent. Was this a hash? Did we accidentally arrive at the wrong outdoor event? No, there were Sheepers milling about in the shade, pretending to stretch. But it was so quiet. Even the air was overly still.
Chicken came over and handed me two gorgeous Bodum double-hulled rocks glasses. Just because I'm a fan of exceptional design. I belted out a quality "YAY!" that had me almost feeling guilty; sort of like if I had used a bullhorn in a library.
Wee Little Bit and Gentrifuckation were off to the side, whispering about the evilness they were going to throw our way. Then more whispering as the hares gave the bimbos their needed information. Was anyone actually talking at normal level?
The amount of time it took to get everyone circled up can only be described as forever. Pu$$y Pilot blessed the hares, who dashed northward into the heat. The pack shuffled off five minutes later. Note I said "shuffled." Slack Sheep in full effect.
Our first check was at the edge of a ball field, and the point of least resistance through shiggy led to a YBF. I went east and instantly became the DFL when trail was found through some moderate resistance to the west. I was dehydrated before trail even started, and trying to catch up with the slowish hounds was a chore. Ice cold water in the camelback helped a little. I was finally in the middle of the pack when we looked to the left and realized the hares circle-jerked us through the forest. We were almost right back at the start.
Most hashers who know the area will say that trails usually go north out of Welcome All Park, but after our circle jerk we he*ded due south, squeezing between an office complex fence and some briary hamsterland. It wasn’t until we hit the surprisingly cool water of a creek that I started snapping out of my physical coma.
Out of the creek we hit an access road that was almost totally overgrown, and followed blobs of flour through a graveyard and over South Fulton Parkway. This is where the hares presented us with their best idea of the day: Jugs of cold water, iced down in a trash bag. Yes, iced down. Maybe Hired Snatch should have consumed a little extra. More on that later.
We hit a check at some railroad tracks and asked the two nearby office park attendants which way the r*nner ahead of us went. Each of them pointed in a different direction. This was apparently where the hares split up. Wee Little Bit went down the tracks to do the last part of trail, while Gentri kept marking trail to the south.
Second best idea of the day: Taking us through a monstrous concrete graveyard. No joke… literal mountains of concrete pieces. Entire traffic dividers. Huge, thick slabs. And somehow we ended up on top of one of the mountains. The walkers took the winding truck path down, the rest of us tried our luck at following flour down the sheer face. A piece slipped out from under my foot and hurtled right toward PP. My brain tracked the piece in slow motion as I braced for the worst. Luckily, the tumbling slowed and the chunk tapped him on the back. That’s when I decided to stop until no one was directly underneath me. Lesson learned.
Third best idea of the day: The hares found old growth forest, between the creek and Roosevelt Highway. It was a gorgeous area with no undergrowth and plenty of room to stretch out. And there was even more of it on the other side of a wide power cut.
East on Roosevelt and North on Welcome All Road put us at a smaller branch of the bigger power cut. And underneath the closest tower was a massive BN.
The On-In was at a shady access road between the power cut and Welcome All Road, just south of South Fulton Parkway. Everyone was too busy checking for ticks to greet the incoming hounds with shouts of "On In." Yup, more quiet. Gentri had just pulled the third tick off his legs when he got a call from Read My Boobs. Hired was down the street and around the corner, overheated and quite miserable. Wee picked them up and Hired cooled down by consuming cold BEvERages. Bunny Tuna was DFL and in similar shape. She had been stung at least six times by yellowjackets and came in with the chills, then proceeded to amaze everyone by popping two Benadryl and downing a beer without appearing affected at all.
The beer had perked up most of the Sheep by the time circle started. Trail Trial was positive and back to a normal decibel level. Of note was Camel Toe, who was applauded for completing 23 of the 24 Hash Marathon hashes so far, and the clear leader with only 3 more hashes to go. Also, your GM and RA made a certain assless-shorts-wearing hound sit on the block for Swing Low. Isn't that sacrilegious? Well, there was an extra down-down involved, so my vote is sacrilLICIOUS.
A tip of the woolen sheep hat to the motivated hares for piecing together a quality Sunday trail. And thanks to all who came out to play in the heat.
May the Hash Get a Piece
# posted by L&F @ 8:15 PM 
