30 July 2006
70. Scandal (post #2)
Black Sheep H3 - 23 July 2006
It has come to the attention of Black Sheep Mismanagement that the hash trash author for #417 intentionally distorted a number of facts. A fellow Sheeper who would like to remain anomymous was somehow able to acquire what looks like a rough draft of the post, pasted directly below, where you can see the exaggerations and out-right lies still in brackets. On behalf of the entire mismanagement team, I want to apologize for this lapse of journalistic integrity and would like to assure all of you that we will continue to make accuracy a priority.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wow, food poisoning sucks. So there I was, hovering over the toilet, trying to force out the remaining intestinal unpleasantness. [As I look back on this moment, I realize that not even for a second did I consider staying home. It never even crossed my mind.] I even had to pull over once [three times] as I was driving to the start. [And still, the most that crossed my mind was "You'll feel better once you start running."]
I spotted hashers at the Publix parking lot in some far off suburb. Woodstock, I think. I chugged a pint [quart] of water and sat in the car with the A/C blowing in my face until I knew the liquid was going to stay down.
I felt the last little jolt of unpleasantness as Bunny blessed the Hares. [As soon as I felt the summer air and smelled the distant shiggy, every bit of unpleasantness instantly disappeared. I was almost late because of all the puking stops, so I barely made it in time to see Bunny bless the Hares.] Receiving the droplets of beer from Bunny's hand were One Ball (He Only Had One Ball) and Surly Temple (Queen of the Wild Front Queers). Surly made two announcements before they left. One was that the YBF on trail would be laid in what looked like crime-scene tape but had the word "Asshole" on it. He raised a piece above his cranium to show the gawking crowd what the hare pair had acquired. Scattered ravings were heard among the crowd. The second announcement was that "the trail is very well-marked." And yes, that's a direct quote. [Being sensitive to verb tense,] I wondered [was wondering] why he didn't say "the trail WILL BE very well-marked." Hmmm. To be honest, I've accidentally said the same thing on a live trail too, so I didn't think about the threat of a pre-lay too much longer. [Well, I’ve had a co-hare that has said the same thing, and our trail wasn’t pre-laid, so I guess that’s forgivable.]
The trail would end up being well-marked, by the way. On Out.
The only way the hares could have given us less pavement at the start would have been if we circled up in the woods next to the Publix parking lot. Because that's where the shiggy started. We encountered some thick undergrowth here, and it would give a taste of what would come later in larger quantities.
I started snapping out of it about the point we hit the first check. [I started feeling totally energized when we hit the first check.] This section of trail consisted of easements, fire roads, or other random areas where running was accomplished with little difficulty. One stretch was a wide, dry stream bed that barely had a channel cut into it. It was almost like running down a hiking path. I had the rare occasion of solving the second check, which led down type of access road. [Not only was I able to solve the first check, I also solved the second, and moved toward a full sprint down a type of access road.] Bodies of water ranging from puddles to miniature lakes made scampering down the road quite amusing. The road widened a bit and we happened upon some people on dirt bikes and ATV's. [I was watching my footing in the ATV tracks when I noticed a $10 bill in the dirt. Wow, that doesn’t happen often. I grabbed it on the fly and tucked it away.] The third check was here at a creek. Marks were easily spotted across the creek, so I assumed YBF and kept going down the road. [I spotted some marks across the creek, so I immediately assumed YBF. And when I heard something farther up the road, I immediately thought the hare was ahead gave chase.] After a few hundred yards [a quarter mile] with no marks [or hare] in sight, I went back to the check to see that a large number of hounds [a few hounds] had overtaken me.
If I remember correctly, we started seeing horse-shoe prints in the dirt soon after the creek crossing. I saw a wooden bench and realized we were on an actual hiking trail. [There was a fork in the trail here, and this was where I took my only wrong turn of the day. It led to a thick piece of forest that suddenly became a little too overgrown. I noticed there hadn’t been flour in a while, so I went back and almost ran right into some sort of vagrant. He had a knife in his hand. “Whatcha got in the bag?” he asked. He was talking about my Camelback. “Just water,” I lied. Actually, I also had my wallet, 60 bucks and my cell phone in there. I stealthily unclipped my whistle from my lanyard as he kept talking. “Well, I’d love to take a look then,” he said and held up the knife. With only instinct as my guide, I tossed the whistle up in the air near his face, which distracted him just enough so I could kick him square in the nut sack. He instantly doubled over and fell to his knees. I got the knife away from him, quickly reached over and cut a vine off a branch and threw the knife into the shiggy. I then took the vine and tied his hands behind his back. He was breathing heavy and sobbing. “Good luck dude,” I said and took off again. Well, I guess that was my adventure for the day.]
The fourth check came at a power cut here, and it was one of the more strategically placed checks I've ever witnessed. Overgrowth led to a creek to the left, shiggy to the right, and just ahead to the left and right were multiple trails. Probably six of them. And of course, there was the straight-ahead option. It took us a while, but we [It took me a while, but I] finally found trail through the overgrowth, over a slightly hidden bridge and onto another path.
I don't know the name of the river the hares dropped us in, but Black Sheepers have been in it before. This area of the river was not very deep and even runnable in spots. I was feeling really good by this point and my internal afterburners kicked in. It seem like I was passing everyone, and even kept up with the people who found the trails on either side of the river.
I think it was right after we got out of the river that we ran into One Ball. He was finished laying his part of trail and was catching is breath at the water stop. [He wasn’t being very forthcumming about the location of the next mark, so I slipped him the 10 bucks I found earlier, got the needed hint and sped away.]
The last half of trail was mostly forest-type shiggy with small-to-large amounts of undergrowth. There was some hamsterland and long areas of deadfall that slowed us all down. In the middle of this section, we saw the back of a business park of some sort and were in the sun for just a second, before we dove right back under the canopy. [That spot in the sun was where I ran into a snake sunning himself on a rock. It was rather large and turned toward me in a pre-strike stance, but momentum and a quick cut to the right kept me easily away from it.] This was the spot [Right after that point was] where we saw Little Easy blow by us all with an incredible desire to reach beer. [But there was no way I was going to led him spoil my almost perfect showing for the day.]
We seemed to go in a semi-circle here and started running along some more sewer easements. One exceptionally smelly one led to a park with the river as a backdrop. For those of you who did GE's trail in March of last year, this was the same ending; we just came in from the east instead of the west. Considering my pathetic showing at Bear Creek the week before, it was funny to know I came in within eyeshot of the FRB. [When I remembered that I needed to redeem myself for being DFL last week at Bear Creek, I dug up every last bit of energy I had and sprinted past Little Easy right before we got to the Bimbo Mobiles. Apparently, no one noticed that I had snuck in first, but it doesn’t matter. Hashing isn’t about competing anyway.] Time: 57 minutes [48 minutes].
It was less than 90 degrees outside, but it must have been really humid, because there were quite a few of us who hung out for a while, changed and still kept sweating like we were all in a sauna. After numerous adult beverages and what seemed like five tons of cake, we were all fed, lubed and cooled down.
Circle was where we finally saw how many people were actually here... 40+ [60+] at least. We had a couple virgins with us, and a number of visitors. One was from the DC area, and I think the rest were from Choo Choo H3 up in Chattanooga. Thanks for driving down.
For the benefit of everyone attempting to squat down bare-A$$ on the ice, two strips of asshole tape were strategically placed on the block.
At trail trial, one human with high expectations thought today's action was just OK. Another known for attending 24-hour races thought it was too short. Everyone else liked it, or liked it with extra thanks for the lack of a death march. Apparently, Pine Lake the day before was a little strenuous. So here's a big thank-you to the hares for a quality trail and an ending that didn't suck.
If your half-mind can't grasp the every-other-week concept, August 6th is the next hash. All us Sheeps will turn into Lyons for the 11th Anal Lyon Run. If we don't see you there, we'll see you around.
May the Hash Get a Piece.
It has come to the attention of Black Sheep Mismanagement that the hash trash author for #417 intentionally distorted a number of facts. A fellow Sheeper who would like to remain anomymous was somehow able to acquire what looks like a rough draft of the post, pasted directly below, where you can see the exaggerations and out-right lies still in brackets. On behalf of the entire mismanagement team, I want to apologize for this lapse of journalistic integrity and would like to assure all of you that we will continue to make accuracy a priority.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wow, food poisoning sucks. So there I was, hovering over the toilet, trying to force out the remaining intestinal unpleasantness. [As I look back on this moment, I realize that not even for a second did I consider staying home. It never even crossed my mind.] I even had to pull over once [three times] as I was driving to the start. [And still, the most that crossed my mind was "You'll feel better once you start running."]
I spotted hashers at the Publix parking lot in some far off suburb. Woodstock, I think. I chugged a pint [quart] of water and sat in the car with the A/C blowing in my face until I knew the liquid was going to stay down.
I felt the last little jolt of unpleasantness as Bunny blessed the Hares. [As soon as I felt the summer air and smelled the distant shiggy, every bit of unpleasantness instantly disappeared. I was almost late because of all the puking stops, so I barely made it in time to see Bunny bless the Hares.] Receiving the droplets of beer from Bunny's hand were One Ball (He Only Had One Ball) and Surly Temple (Queen of the Wild Front Queers). Surly made two announcements before they left. One was that the YBF on trail would be laid in what looked like crime-scene tape but had the word "Asshole" on it. He raised a piece above his cranium to show the gawking crowd what the hare pair had acquired. Scattered ravings were heard among the crowd. The second announcement was that "the trail is very well-marked." And yes, that's a direct quote. [Being sensitive to verb tense,] I wondered [was wondering] why he didn't say "the trail WILL BE very well-marked." Hmmm. To be honest, I've accidentally said the same thing on a live trail too, so I didn't think about the threat of a pre-lay too much longer. [Well, I’ve had a co-hare that has said the same thing, and our trail wasn’t pre-laid, so I guess that’s forgivable.]
The trail would end up being well-marked, by the way. On Out.
The only way the hares could have given us less pavement at the start would have been if we circled up in the woods next to the Publix parking lot. Because that's where the shiggy started. We encountered some thick undergrowth here, and it would give a taste of what would come later in larger quantities.
I started snapping out of it about the point we hit the first check. [I started feeling totally energized when we hit the first check.] This section of trail consisted of easements, fire roads, or other random areas where running was accomplished with little difficulty. One stretch was a wide, dry stream bed that barely had a channel cut into it. It was almost like running down a hiking path. I had the rare occasion of solving the second check, which led down type of access road. [Not only was I able to solve the first check, I also solved the second, and moved toward a full sprint down a type of access road.] Bodies of water ranging from puddles to miniature lakes made scampering down the road quite amusing. The road widened a bit and we happened upon some people on dirt bikes and ATV's. [I was watching my footing in the ATV tracks when I noticed a $10 bill in the dirt. Wow, that doesn’t happen often. I grabbed it on the fly and tucked it away.] The third check was here at a creek. Marks were easily spotted across the creek, so I assumed YBF and kept going down the road. [I spotted some marks across the creek, so I immediately assumed YBF. And when I heard something farther up the road, I immediately thought the hare was ahead gave chase.] After a few hundred yards [a quarter mile] with no marks [or hare] in sight, I went back to the check to see that a large number of hounds [a few hounds] had overtaken me.
If I remember correctly, we started seeing horse-shoe prints in the dirt soon after the creek crossing. I saw a wooden bench and realized we were on an actual hiking trail. [There was a fork in the trail here, and this was where I took my only wrong turn of the day. It led to a thick piece of forest that suddenly became a little too overgrown. I noticed there hadn’t been flour in a while, so I went back and almost ran right into some sort of vagrant. He had a knife in his hand. “Whatcha got in the bag?” he asked. He was talking about my Camelback. “Just water,” I lied. Actually, I also had my wallet, 60 bucks and my cell phone in there. I stealthily unclipped my whistle from my lanyard as he kept talking. “Well, I’d love to take a look then,” he said and held up the knife. With only instinct as my guide, I tossed the whistle up in the air near his face, which distracted him just enough so I could kick him square in the nut sack. He instantly doubled over and fell to his knees. I got the knife away from him, quickly reached over and cut a vine off a branch and threw the knife into the shiggy. I then took the vine and tied his hands behind his back. He was breathing heavy and sobbing. “Good luck dude,” I said and took off again. Well, I guess that was my adventure for the day.]
The fourth check came at a power cut here, and it was one of the more strategically placed checks I've ever witnessed. Overgrowth led to a creek to the left, shiggy to the right, and just ahead to the left and right were multiple trails. Probably six of them. And of course, there was the straight-ahead option. It took us a while, but we [It took me a while, but I] finally found trail through the overgrowth, over a slightly hidden bridge and onto another path.
I don't know the name of the river the hares dropped us in, but Black Sheepers have been in it before. This area of the river was not very deep and even runnable in spots. I was feeling really good by this point and my internal afterburners kicked in. It seem like I was passing everyone, and even kept up with the people who found the trails on either side of the river.
I think it was right after we got out of the river that we ran into One Ball. He was finished laying his part of trail and was catching is breath at the water stop. [He wasn’t being very forthcumming about the location of the next mark, so I slipped him the 10 bucks I found earlier, got the needed hint and sped away.]
The last half of trail was mostly forest-type shiggy with small-to-large amounts of undergrowth. There was some hamsterland and long areas of deadfall that slowed us all down. In the middle of this section, we saw the back of a business park of some sort and were in the sun for just a second, before we dove right back under the canopy. [That spot in the sun was where I ran into a snake sunning himself on a rock. It was rather large and turned toward me in a pre-strike stance, but momentum and a quick cut to the right kept me easily away from it.] This was the spot [Right after that point was] where we saw Little Easy blow by us all with an incredible desire to reach beer. [But there was no way I was going to led him spoil my almost perfect showing for the day.]
We seemed to go in a semi-circle here and started running along some more sewer easements. One exceptionally smelly one led to a park with the river as a backdrop. For those of you who did GE's trail in March of last year, this was the same ending; we just came in from the east instead of the west. Considering my pathetic showing at Bear Creek the week before, it was funny to know I came in within eyeshot of the FRB. [When I remembered that I needed to redeem myself for being DFL last week at Bear Creek, I dug up every last bit of energy I had and sprinted past Little Easy right before we got to the Bimbo Mobiles. Apparently, no one noticed that I had snuck in first, but it doesn’t matter. Hashing isn’t about competing anyway.] Time: 57 minutes [48 minutes].
It was less than 90 degrees outside, but it must have been really humid, because there were quite a few of us who hung out for a while, changed and still kept sweating like we were all in a sauna. After numerous adult beverages and what seemed like five tons of cake, we were all fed, lubed and cooled down.
Circle was where we finally saw how many people were actually here... 40+ [60+] at least. We had a couple virgins with us, and a number of visitors. One was from the DC area, and I think the rest were from Choo Choo H3 up in Chattanooga. Thanks for driving down.
For the benefit of everyone attempting to squat down bare-A$$ on the ice, two strips of asshole tape were strategically placed on the block.
At trail trial, one human with high expectations thought today's action was just OK. Another known for attending 24-hour races thought it was too short. Everyone else liked it, or liked it with extra thanks for the lack of a death march. Apparently, Pine Lake the day before was a little strenuous. So here's a big thank-you to the hares for a quality trail and an ending that didn't suck.
If your half-mind can't grasp the every-other-week concept, August 6th is the next hash. All us Sheeps will turn into Lyons for the 11th Anal Lyon Run. If we don't see you there, we'll see you around.
May the Hash Get a Piece.
# posted by L&F @ 4:08 PM 
70. Scandal (post #1)
Black Sheep H3 - 23 July 2006
[As usual, this was posted anonymously on the Black Sheep board.]
Wow, food poisoning sucks. So there I was, hovering over the toilet, trying to force out the remaining intestinal unpleasantness. As I look back on this moment, I realize that not even for a second did I consider staying home. It never even crossed my mind. I even had to pull over three times as I was driving to the start. And still, the most that crossed my mind was "You'll feel better once you start running."
I spotted hashers at the Publix parking lot in some far off suburb. Woodstock, I think. I chugged a quart of water and sat in the car with the A/C blowing in my face until I knew the liquid was going to stay down.
As soon as I felt the summer air and smelled the distant shiggy, every bit of unpleasantness instantly disappeared. I was almost late because of all the puking stops, so I barely made it in time to see Bunny bless the Hares. Receiving the droplets of beer from Bunny's hand were One Ball (He Only Had One Ball) and Surly Temple (Queen of the Wild Front Queers). Surly made two announcements before they left. One was that the YBF on trail would be laid in what looked like crime-scene tape but had the word "Asshole" on it. He raised a piece above his cranium to show the gawking crowd what the hare pair had acquired. Scattered ravings were heard among the crowd. The second announcement was that "the trail is very well-marked." And yes, that's a direct quote. Being sensitive to verb tense, I wondered why he didn't say "the trail WILL BE very well-marked." Hmmm. Well, I’ve had a co-hare that has said the same thing, and our trail wasn’t pre-laid, so I guess that’s forgivable.
The trail would end up being well-marked, by the way. On Out.
The only way the hares could have given us less pavement at the start would have been if we circled up in the woods next to the Publix parking lot. Because that's where the shiggy started. We encountered some thick undergrowth here, and it would give a taste of what would come later in larger quantities.
I started feeling totally energized when we hit the first check. This section of trail consisted of easements, fire roads, or other random areas where running was accomplished with little difficulty. One stretch was a wide, dry stream bed that barely had a channel cut into it. It was almost like running down a hiking path. Not only was I able to solve the first check, I also solved the second, and moved toward a full sprint down a type of access road. Bodies of water ranging from puddles to miniature lakes made scampering down the road quite amusing. The road widened a bit and we happened upon some people on dirt bikes and ATV's. I was watching my footing in the ATV tracks when I noticed a $10 bill in the dirt. Wow, that doesn’t happen often. I grabbed it on the fly and tucked it away. The third check was here at a creek. I spotted some marks across the creek, so I immediately assumed YBF. And when I heard something farther up the road, I immediately thought the hare was ahead and gave chase. After a quarter mile with no marks or hare in sight, I went back to the check to see that a few hounds had overtaken me.
If I remember correctly, we started seeing horse-shoe prints in the dirt soon after the creek crossing. I saw a wooden bench and realized we were on an actual hiking trail. There was a fork in the trail here, and this was where I took my only wrong turn of the day. It led to a thick piece of forest that suddenly became a little too overgrown. I noticed there hadn’t been flour in a while, so I went back and almost ran right into some sort of vagrant. He had a knife in his hand. “Whatcha got in the bag?” he asked. He was talking about my Camelback. “Just water,” I lied. Actually, I also had my wallet, 60 bucks and my cell phone in there. I stealthily unclipped my whistle from my lanyard as he kept talking. “Well, I’d love to take a look then,” he said and held up the knife. With only instinct as my guide, I tossed the whistle up in the air near his face, which distracted him just enough so I could kick him square in the nuts. He instantly doubled over and fell to his knees. I got the knife away from him, quickly reached over and cut a vine off a branch and threw the knife into the shiggy. He was trying to get up so I kicked him in the stomach. He went all the way down this time. I then took the vine and tied his hands behind his back. He was breathing heavily and sobbing. “Good luck dude,” I said and took off again. Well, I guess that was my adventure for the day.
The fourth check came at a power cut here, and it was one of the more strategically placed checks I've ever witnessed. Overgrowth led to a creek to the left, shiggy to the right, and just ahead to the left and right were multiple trails. Probably six of them. And of course, there was the straight-ahead option. It took me a while, but I finally found trail through the overgrowth, over a slightly hidden bridge and onto another path.
I don't know the name of the river the hares dropped us in, but Black Sheepers have been in it before. This area of the river was not very deep and even runnable in spots. I was feeling really good by this point and my internal afterburners kicked in. It seem like I was passing everyone, and even kept up with the people who found the trails on either side of the river.
I think it was right after we got out of the river that we ran into One Ball. He was finished laying his part of trail and was catching is breath at the water stop. He wasn’t being very forthcumming about the location of the next mark, so I slipped him the 10 bucks I found earlier, got the needed hint and sped away.
The last half of trail was mostly forest-type shiggy with small-to-large amounts of undergrowth. There was some hamsterland and long areas of deadfall that slowed us all down. In the middle of this section, we saw the back of a business park of some sort and were in the sun for just a second, before we dove right back under the canopy. That spot in the sun was where I ran into a snake sunning himself on a rock. Even though it was curled up, I could tell it was rather large. It turned toward me in a pre-strike stance, but momentum and a quick cut to the right kept me easily away from it. Right after that point was where we saw Little Easy blow by us all with an incredible desire to reach beer. But there was no way I was going to led him spoil my almost perfect showing for the day.
We seemed to go in a semi-circle here and then started running along some more sewer easements. One exceptionally smelly one led to a park with the river as a backdrop. For those of you who did GE's trail in March of last year, this was the same ending; we just came in from the east instead of the west. When I remembered that I needed to redeem myself for being DFL last week at Bear Creek, I dug up every last bit of energy I had and sprinted past Little Easy right before we got to the Bimbo Mobiles. Apparently, no one noticed that I had snuck in first, but it doesn’t matter. Hashing isn’t about competing anyway. Time: 48 minutes.
It was less than 90 degrees outside, but it must have been really humid, because there were quite a few of us who hung out for a while, changed and still kept sweating like we were all in a sauna. After numerous adult beverages and what seemed like five tons of cake, we were all fed, lubed and cooled down.
Circle was where we finally saw how many people were actually here... 60+ at least. We had a couple virgins with us, and a number of visitors. One was from the DC area, and I think the rest were from Choo Choo H3 up in Chattanooga. Thanks for driving down.
For the benefit of everyone attempting to squat down bare-a$$ on the ice, two strips of asshole tape were strategically placed on the block.
At trail trial, one human with high expectations thought today's action was just OK. Another known for attending 24-hour races thought it was too short. Everyone else liked it, or liked it with extra thanks for the lack of a death march. Apparently, Pine Lake the day before was a little strenuous. So here's a big thank-you to the hares for a quality trail and an ending that didn't suck.
If your half-mind can't grasp the every-other-week concept, August 6th is the next hash. All us Sheeps will turn into Lyons for the 11th Anal Lyon Run. If we don't see you there, we'll see you around.
May the Hash Get a Piece.
[As usual, this was posted anonymously on the Black Sheep board.]
Wow, food poisoning sucks. So there I was, hovering over the toilet, trying to force out the remaining intestinal unpleasantness. As I look back on this moment, I realize that not even for a second did I consider staying home. It never even crossed my mind. I even had to pull over three times as I was driving to the start. And still, the most that crossed my mind was "You'll feel better once you start running."
I spotted hashers at the Publix parking lot in some far off suburb. Woodstock, I think. I chugged a quart of water and sat in the car with the A/C blowing in my face until I knew the liquid was going to stay down.
As soon as I felt the summer air and smelled the distant shiggy, every bit of unpleasantness instantly disappeared. I was almost late because of all the puking stops, so I barely made it in time to see Bunny bless the Hares. Receiving the droplets of beer from Bunny's hand were One Ball (He Only Had One Ball) and Surly Temple (Queen of the Wild Front Queers). Surly made two announcements before they left. One was that the YBF on trail would be laid in what looked like crime-scene tape but had the word "Asshole" on it. He raised a piece above his cranium to show the gawking crowd what the hare pair had acquired. Scattered ravings were heard among the crowd. The second announcement was that "the trail is very well-marked." And yes, that's a direct quote. Being sensitive to verb tense, I wondered why he didn't say "the trail WILL BE very well-marked." Hmmm. Well, I’ve had a co-hare that has said the same thing, and our trail wasn’t pre-laid, so I guess that’s forgivable.
The trail would end up being well-marked, by the way. On Out.
The only way the hares could have given us less pavement at the start would have been if we circled up in the woods next to the Publix parking lot. Because that's where the shiggy started. We encountered some thick undergrowth here, and it would give a taste of what would come later in larger quantities.
I started feeling totally energized when we hit the first check. This section of trail consisted of easements, fire roads, or other random areas where running was accomplished with little difficulty. One stretch was a wide, dry stream bed that barely had a channel cut into it. It was almost like running down a hiking path. Not only was I able to solve the first check, I also solved the second, and moved toward a full sprint down a type of access road. Bodies of water ranging from puddles to miniature lakes made scampering down the road quite amusing. The road widened a bit and we happened upon some people on dirt bikes and ATV's. I was watching my footing in the ATV tracks when I noticed a $10 bill in the dirt. Wow, that doesn’t happen often. I grabbed it on the fly and tucked it away. The third check was here at a creek. I spotted some marks across the creek, so I immediately assumed YBF. And when I heard something farther up the road, I immediately thought the hare was ahead and gave chase. After a quarter mile with no marks or hare in sight, I went back to the check to see that a few hounds had overtaken me.
If I remember correctly, we started seeing horse-shoe prints in the dirt soon after the creek crossing. I saw a wooden bench and realized we were on an actual hiking trail. There was a fork in the trail here, and this was where I took my only wrong turn of the day. It led to a thick piece of forest that suddenly became a little too overgrown. I noticed there hadn’t been flour in a while, so I went back and almost ran right into some sort of vagrant. He had a knife in his hand. “Whatcha got in the bag?” he asked. He was talking about my Camelback. “Just water,” I lied. Actually, I also had my wallet, 60 bucks and my cell phone in there. I stealthily unclipped my whistle from my lanyard as he kept talking. “Well, I’d love to take a look then,” he said and held up the knife. With only instinct as my guide, I tossed the whistle up in the air near his face, which distracted him just enough so I could kick him square in the nuts. He instantly doubled over and fell to his knees. I got the knife away from him, quickly reached over and cut a vine off a branch and threw the knife into the shiggy. He was trying to get up so I kicked him in the stomach. He went all the way down this time. I then took the vine and tied his hands behind his back. He was breathing heavily and sobbing. “Good luck dude,” I said and took off again. Well, I guess that was my adventure for the day.
The fourth check came at a power cut here, and it was one of the more strategically placed checks I've ever witnessed. Overgrowth led to a creek to the left, shiggy to the right, and just ahead to the left and right were multiple trails. Probably six of them. And of course, there was the straight-ahead option. It took me a while, but I finally found trail through the overgrowth, over a slightly hidden bridge and onto another path.
I don't know the name of the river the hares dropped us in, but Black Sheepers have been in it before. This area of the river was not very deep and even runnable in spots. I was feeling really good by this point and my internal afterburners kicked in. It seem like I was passing everyone, and even kept up with the people who found the trails on either side of the river.
I think it was right after we got out of the river that we ran into One Ball. He was finished laying his part of trail and was catching is breath at the water stop. He wasn’t being very forthcumming about the location of the next mark, so I slipped him the 10 bucks I found earlier, got the needed hint and sped away.
The last half of trail was mostly forest-type shiggy with small-to-large amounts of undergrowth. There was some hamsterland and long areas of deadfall that slowed us all down. In the middle of this section, we saw the back of a business park of some sort and were in the sun for just a second, before we dove right back under the canopy. That spot in the sun was where I ran into a snake sunning himself on a rock. Even though it was curled up, I could tell it was rather large. It turned toward me in a pre-strike stance, but momentum and a quick cut to the right kept me easily away from it. Right after that point was where we saw Little Easy blow by us all with an incredible desire to reach beer. But there was no way I was going to led him spoil my almost perfect showing for the day.
We seemed to go in a semi-circle here and then started running along some more sewer easements. One exceptionally smelly one led to a park with the river as a backdrop. For those of you who did GE's trail in March of last year, this was the same ending; we just came in from the east instead of the west. When I remembered that I needed to redeem myself for being DFL last week at Bear Creek, I dug up every last bit of energy I had and sprinted past Little Easy right before we got to the Bimbo Mobiles. Apparently, no one noticed that I had snuck in first, but it doesn’t matter. Hashing isn’t about competing anyway. Time: 48 minutes.
It was less than 90 degrees outside, but it must have been really humid, because there were quite a few of us who hung out for a while, changed and still kept sweating like we were all in a sauna. After numerous adult beverages and what seemed like five tons of cake, we were all fed, lubed and cooled down.
Circle was where we finally saw how many people were actually here... 60+ at least. We had a couple virgins with us, and a number of visitors. One was from the DC area, and I think the rest were from Choo Choo H3 up in Chattanooga. Thanks for driving down.
For the benefit of everyone attempting to squat down bare-a$$ on the ice, two strips of asshole tape were strategically placed on the block.
At trail trial, one human with high expectations thought today's action was just OK. Another known for attending 24-hour races thought it was too short. Everyone else liked it, or liked it with extra thanks for the lack of a death march. Apparently, Pine Lake the day before was a little strenuous. So here's a big thank-you to the hares for a quality trail and an ending that didn't suck.
If your half-mind can't grasp the every-other-week concept, August 6th is the next hash. All us Sheeps will turn into Lyons for the 11th Anal Lyon Run. If we don't see you there, we'll see you around.
May the Hash Get a Piece.
# posted by L&F @ 4:01 PM
