28 January 2006
59. The Trash Invades Reality
Carolina Trash H3 - No date necessary
ATLANTA (AP) - Police were called to the aftermath of surreal riot on Saturday, located at a construction-site cul-de-sac off Moreland Avenue, just outside the Perimeter.
According to people being treated at the scene, the instigators were a group of runners known as The Carolina Trash, who traveled down from their home base in Fayetteville, North Carolina to find out about the local runs here in Atlanta.
The Trash is one of many groups known as The Hash House Harriers, known collectively as The Drinking Club With a Running Problem, but extreme differences are seen from city to city.
Apparently, the local Hashers laid out a cross-country trail that ended at the secluded cul-de-sac, which will soon be part of the Moreland Vista Apartments.
Witnesses said the visiting members of the Trash were unhappy with the leadership and lack of ambition from everyone involved, and began throwing beer and disrobing.
When the more aggressive locals took offense and began confronting the unhappy pack, the Trashers allegedly began defecating at the site and urinating on everyone within range.
Some of the drunken males even began masturbating, in an attempt to spray additional bodily fluids. One was even projectile-vomiting on command.
This sent some of the Atlanta women screaming, alerting the weekend construction crew working at the nearby apartments.
"When we got to the area, everyone seemed pretty drunk," said construction worker Mark Darymple. "Some people were slipping in human waste, others were coated with red Georgia clay and beer. The entire area smelled like someone spilled Pabst Blue Ribbon in a porta-john. I think the oddest thing I saw was a cat fight where one of the ladies had another pinned to the ground, and the one on top was squeezing her breast milk into the helpless girl's face. Tears and milk. Wow."
Darymple went on to say his crew decided to avoid getting in the middle of the confrontation when the members of the Trash who weren't using their genitals as weapons offered them free beer. "They seemed like they just wanted to have a good time," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Plus, it was warm there. They were lighting random fires everywhere."
By the time police arrived, most of the group had disbanded, except for the people who were hurt.
They would only give what they called their "hash names," which they said were awarded to them after five runs with the group.
In an ironic moment, one male calling himself I Am My Own Punchline was injured when he slipped on a pile of semen and fell to the ground.
Another named Goody No Shoes said a bottle hit his head and he passed out, only to wake up several minutes later with black marker all over the exposed parts of his body. "I got Sharpied," he sighed, referring to the permanent marker manufactured by Sanford.
A female from Decatur, whose hash name is too explicit to print, said the Trash had staged what they called an Invasion, which is apparently the term they use whenever they leave Fayetteville on a road trip. “They invaded all right.” the woman said, “My personal space, my privacy, my set of morals.” She then cursed for about 15 seconds, kicked a charred running shoe and walked off.
Charges are unlikely to be filed, due to the anonymity of everyone involved, and the refusal of the construction workers to make a statement.
AP-28-JAN-06
ATLANTA (AP) - Police were called to the aftermath of surreal riot on Saturday, located at a construction-site cul-de-sac off Moreland Avenue, just outside the Perimeter.
According to people being treated at the scene, the instigators were a group of runners known as The Carolina Trash, who traveled down from their home base in Fayetteville, North Carolina to find out about the local runs here in Atlanta.
The Trash is one of many groups known as The Hash House Harriers, known collectively as The Drinking Club With a Running Problem, but extreme differences are seen from city to city.
Apparently, the local Hashers laid out a cross-country trail that ended at the secluded cul-de-sac, which will soon be part of the Moreland Vista Apartments.
Witnesses said the visiting members of the Trash were unhappy with the leadership and lack of ambition from everyone involved, and began throwing beer and disrobing.
When the more aggressive locals took offense and began confronting the unhappy pack, the Trashers allegedly began defecating at the site and urinating on everyone within range.
Some of the drunken males even began masturbating, in an attempt to spray additional bodily fluids. One was even projectile-vomiting on command.
This sent some of the Atlanta women screaming, alerting the weekend construction crew working at the nearby apartments.
"When we got to the area, everyone seemed pretty drunk," said construction worker Mark Darymple. "Some people were slipping in human waste, others were coated with red Georgia clay and beer. The entire area smelled like someone spilled Pabst Blue Ribbon in a porta-john. I think the oddest thing I saw was a cat fight where one of the ladies had another pinned to the ground, and the one on top was squeezing her breast milk into the helpless girl's face. Tears and milk. Wow."
Darymple went on to say his crew decided to avoid getting in the middle of the confrontation when the members of the Trash who weren't using their genitals as weapons offered them free beer. "They seemed like they just wanted to have a good time," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Plus, it was warm there. They were lighting random fires everywhere."
By the time police arrived, most of the group had disbanded, except for the people who were hurt.
They would only give what they called their "hash names," which they said were awarded to them after five runs with the group.
In an ironic moment, one male calling himself I Am My Own Punchline was injured when he slipped on a pile of semen and fell to the ground.
Another named Goody No Shoes said a bottle hit his head and he passed out, only to wake up several minutes later with black marker all over the exposed parts of his body. "I got Sharpied," he sighed, referring to the permanent marker manufactured by Sanford.
A female from Decatur, whose hash name is too explicit to print, said the Trash had staged what they called an Invasion, which is apparently the term they use whenever they leave Fayetteville on a road trip. “They invaded all right.” the woman said, “My personal space, my privacy, my set of morals.” She then cursed for about 15 seconds, kicked a charred running shoe and walked off.
Charges are unlikely to be filed, due to the anonymity of everyone involved, and the refusal of the construction workers to make a statement.
AP-28-JAN-06
# posted by L&F @ 11:04 AM 
