06 February 2006
60. Just a Little Stunning
Biloxi H3’s Eat Mor Chikin Weekend - 20 January 06 to 22 January 06
Our latest road trip has been sponsored by storm-devastated Biloxi and surrounding areas. Tolerating me in the car this time around was Red Breast and Poke Her Cabana.
The Things I Learned Before, During and After Eating Mor Chikin:
--Chick-fil-A has some great props for a weekend of this caliber.
--The Biloxi crowd really knows how to welcome out-of-towners.
--If you turn down a chance to play Tippy Cup in Biloxi, the Welcoming Committee will turn on you.
--If you walk around with a battery-operated chicken that makes hellish sounds of pain when you choke it, people will tire of it (and you) very quickly.
--Five months after d-day (K-day?), and you still have to drive forever to get to an open bar. But hey, once you’re there, Scareoke sounds exactly the same.
--Two out-of-towners laying trail can be quite entertaining.
--Porkymon’s house smells like my butt crack. And by butt crack, I don’t mean my butt crack after I shower, I mean my butt crack after I get done haring.
--Want an abandoned bike? Walk around Ocean Springs for a few minutes.
--If you’re wearing flour-covered running tights in Ocean Springs, and you put a plunger on your freshly shaved dome, one of the locals will stop and ask you what’s going on.
--If your name is Burn-n-Bush and you just got your house repaired, you might need to swallow quite a few Bravery Pills before you invite a bunch of drunk people over for a weekend.
--The more drunk you are, the cooler drinking games are.
--“What the Fuck” is the coolest drinking game that I can’t play whatsoever.
--How do you make a 79.9-proof Hurricane? Mix powdered flavoring into straight booze.
--If you drink hard liquor and beer all weekend, and forget to drink water, you tend to get quite ill after a couple days.
--If you drink too many Hurricanes, you will pass out. For a long time.
--I will always forget something at an out-of-town event. Sometimes, I’ll forget two or three somethings.
--If you say you’d be willing to have public sex with a Dwarf for a nominal fee, drunk hashers will whip out their cash faster than Paris Hilton whips out her wad at Louis Vuitton.
--There’s a new type of Christmas Tree. It’s a Biloxi Tree. Directions: Take a regular tree from the Biloxi area, add hurricane-force winds at a 20-plus-foot storm surge, and let the water recede. Ornaments will include clothes, paper bags, toys… and maybe even a full-size boat.
On On
Our latest road trip has been sponsored by storm-devastated Biloxi and surrounding areas. Tolerating me in the car this time around was Red Breast and Poke Her Cabana.
The Things I Learned Before, During and After Eating Mor Chikin:
--Chick-fil-A has some great props for a weekend of this caliber.
--The Biloxi crowd really knows how to welcome out-of-towners.
--If you turn down a chance to play Tippy Cup in Biloxi, the Welcoming Committee will turn on you.
--If you walk around with a battery-operated chicken that makes hellish sounds of pain when you choke it, people will tire of it (and you) very quickly.
--Five months after d-day (K-day?), and you still have to drive forever to get to an open bar. But hey, once you’re there, Scareoke sounds exactly the same.
--Two out-of-towners laying trail can be quite entertaining.
--Porkymon’s house smells like my butt crack. And by butt crack, I don’t mean my butt crack after I shower, I mean my butt crack after I get done haring.
--Want an abandoned bike? Walk around Ocean Springs for a few minutes.
--If you’re wearing flour-covered running tights in Ocean Springs, and you put a plunger on your freshly shaved dome, one of the locals will stop and ask you what’s going on.
--If your name is Burn-n-Bush and you just got your house repaired, you might need to swallow quite a few Bravery Pills before you invite a bunch of drunk people over for a weekend.
--The more drunk you are, the cooler drinking games are.
--“What the Fuck” is the coolest drinking game that I can’t play whatsoever.
--How do you make a 79.9-proof Hurricane? Mix powdered flavoring into straight booze.
--If you drink hard liquor and beer all weekend, and forget to drink water, you tend to get quite ill after a couple days.
--If you drink too many Hurricanes, you will pass out. For a long time.
--I will always forget something at an out-of-town event. Sometimes, I’ll forget two or three somethings.
--If you say you’d be willing to have public sex with a Dwarf for a nominal fee, drunk hashers will whip out their cash faster than Paris Hilton whips out her wad at Louis Vuitton.
--There’s a new type of Christmas Tree. It’s a Biloxi Tree. Directions: Take a regular tree from the Biloxi area, add hurricane-force winds at a 20-plus-foot storm surge, and let the water recede. Ornaments will include clothes, paper bags, toys… and maybe even a full-size boat.
On On
# posted by L&F @ 11:34 PM 
