05 November 2005
26. Random Ravings from Fayettopia
Carolina Trash H3 - 14 March 2004
alt. title: Atlanta-ites Cum to Pay Tribute to Departing Trashers
Let this dickument stand as the official Unofficial Written Farewell to Moremen, Fiber and Sperm. Without you, and that whole leaving thing, we would have one less excuse to drive up and get drunk in another state. OK, now on to the bullshit.
Hey Spooge: Did you know your neighbor's kid is a young, bling bling-wearing, up-and-cumming drug dealer who just stepped out of a time machine from the 70's? He just discovered jello shots, likes drinking free beer and loves talking about his mad skillz. He's also hyper-uncomfortable around a horny Scaf.
Drunk hashers can instantly come up with over a dozen songs with DRAMA in the title.
I need to turn my fridge into a dual-use kegerator and jello shooter depository.
Want to learn how to disguise a clear, high-proof liquid? See Bumper.
Want to learn how to turn your place into the ultimate bachelor pad? See Smoov.
Once again, the Distance Traveled Award goes to Shitty and Scabby.
The Surprise of the Night Award goes to an appearance from Bagless and his tireless chauffeur, Fag Hag.
The CTrH3 Money-Making Idea Award goes to whoever thought to auction Boob on E-bay.
The Song Idea Award goes to Twatoo for "Transluscent Penis."
The Most Drunk Award goes to Yucca, for picking hard liquor as the beverage of choice for 3-Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know who did that same exact thing at NC/SC. Shut the hell up. Those dark days are over.
The Most Sporks Award goes to Moremen.
The Best Appetizer Award goes to CUNT for her stuffed jalapenos.
When the planets are aligned properly, multi-state drunk dialing can reach epic proportions.
Having a group that's half virgins can lead to some interesting trails.
Having three beer stops can lead to some Really Drunk Virgins.
RDV's can lead to some entertaining visuals. The Visual of the Day Award goes to the RDV who was standing (barely) in circle with his eyes glazed over. A string of drool that was falling out of his mouth broke free and ended up hanging off his beer can.
I have learned the amazing story of how Tonsil Tang got her name. If any of you RDV's have sobered up enough to read this, and want some entertainment, ask her. But you might want to tone down the unsolicited flirting just a little. Not only is she taken, she's also a female Trasher. And in case you didn't notice, there's now a Carolina Trash Domestic Violence Award for the woman who kicks the most ass. You've been warned, you wankers.
Missing from circle #1: Dick Snail didn't do The Dick Snail (Scootch Scootch). The jury is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing.
Missing from circle #2: The departing Trashers didn't get thrown to the ice for the flour treatment. So if I ever see you guys at an Atlanta trail, be afraid. I'll have flour waiting.
I love beer.
-L&F
alt. title: Atlanta-ites Cum to Pay Tribute to Departing Trashers
Let this dickument stand as the official Unofficial Written Farewell to Moremen, Fiber and Sperm. Without you, and that whole leaving thing, we would have one less excuse to drive up and get drunk in another state. OK, now on to the bullshit.
Hey Spooge: Did you know your neighbor's kid is a young, bling bling-wearing, up-and-cumming drug dealer who just stepped out of a time machine from the 70's? He just discovered jello shots, likes drinking free beer and loves talking about his mad skillz. He's also hyper-uncomfortable around a horny Scaf.
Drunk hashers can instantly come up with over a dozen songs with DRAMA in the title.
I need to turn my fridge into a dual-use kegerator and jello shooter depository.
Want to learn how to disguise a clear, high-proof liquid? See Bumper.
Want to learn how to turn your place into the ultimate bachelor pad? See Smoov.
Once again, the Distance Traveled Award goes to Shitty and Scabby.
The Surprise of the Night Award goes to an appearance from Bagless and his tireless chauffeur, Fag Hag.
The CTrH3 Money-Making Idea Award goes to whoever thought to auction Boob on E-bay.
The Song Idea Award goes to Twatoo for "Transluscent Penis."
The Most Drunk Award goes to Yucca, for picking hard liquor as the beverage of choice for 3-Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know who did that same exact thing at NC/SC. Shut the hell up. Those dark days are over.
The Most Sporks Award goes to Moremen.
The Best Appetizer Award goes to CUNT for her stuffed jalapenos.
When the planets are aligned properly, multi-state drunk dialing can reach epic proportions.
Having a group that's half virgins can lead to some interesting trails.
Having three beer stops can lead to some Really Drunk Virgins.
RDV's can lead to some entertaining visuals. The Visual of the Day Award goes to the RDV who was standing (barely) in circle with his eyes glazed over. A string of drool that was falling out of his mouth broke free and ended up hanging off his beer can.
I have learned the amazing story of how Tonsil Tang got her name. If any of you RDV's have sobered up enough to read this, and want some entertainment, ask her. But you might want to tone down the unsolicited flirting just a little. Not only is she taken, she's also a female Trasher. And in case you didn't notice, there's now a Carolina Trash Domestic Violence Award for the woman who kicks the most ass. You've been warned, you wankers.
Missing from circle #1: Dick Snail didn't do The Dick Snail (Scootch Scootch). The jury is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing.
Missing from circle #2: The departing Trashers didn't get thrown to the ice for the flour treatment. So if I ever see you guys at an Atlanta trail, be afraid. I'll have flour waiting.
I love beer.
-L&F
# posted by L&F @ 5:52 PM 
